I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve casually said “incel” in conversation, only for someone to show up and “correct” me about what it really means. Oddly enough, that’s a dead giveaway they’re an incel themselves. Involuntary celibacy isn’t just a lack of sex—it’s usually the result of a downright poisonous approach to life, where the problem isn’t some grand conspiracy but their own behavior.

Sometimes people think incels are just men who can’t find partners, but there’s more to it than that. Over the years, I’ve seen the same negative traits pop up over and over again. Entitlement is a big one; they genuinely believe they’re owed attention and romance. Then there’s bitterness, blaming everyone else for their struggles. Misogynistic worldviews rear their ugly head, turning women into targets for their frustration. The victim mentality takes hold, leading them to curse “Chads and Staceys” instead of practicing self-awareness. Finally, there’s the classic hostile online behavior, like bullying or harassing people who dare disagree.

When someone calls you an incel, they’re not talking about your sex life. They’re pointing out those toxic beliefs that make you radioactive in any social setting. Most of these guys could change if they really wanted to—better hygiene, basic empathy, genuine respect for others (dropping the anime/game profile pic)—but self-pity is easier than self-improvement. So they’re stuck sulking, shouting into the void, and ignoring any advice that might actually help.

I got a taste of this when some random (incel) with a video-game profile pic messaged me out of the blue. He started with childish insults and slowly progressed into boasting about bullying a girl into tears because she mentioned Star Wars—like that’s something to be proud of. Then he spammed me with screenshots: random women’s social media stories, some Star Wars and anime pictures, and whatever else he could scrounge up on his phone. I’m guessing he found me after I criticized antiwoke incels who whine non-stop about women, people of color, or LGBTQ folks in games. I’m pretty good at dealing with these low-IQ folk, so they always block me in the end (after asking me if I was going to block him, lol).

If you want to witness the cringe-fest, take a look at the gallery of this guy’s messages and photo rampage. I’m guessing he thought I’d be impressed by his Star Wars rants and questionable photo stash. Instead, it just proved he’s lonely for a reason: being toxic and creepy doesn’t exactly endear you to people.

In the end, incels aren’t single because the world conspires against them. They’re single because they keep pushing others away with hostile, entitled behavior. Sure, it’s sad, but if you refuse to acknowledge the real issue—yourself—then nothing changes. Until they figure that out, they’ll stay stuck in their echo chambers, raging at society while the rest of us move on.

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